Living abroad is quite an adventure. It’s a whirlwind of new discoveries around you and even discoveries within. Below you’ll find six things that I’ve learned during my time living abroad.
Solitude isn’t that bad
Prior to leaving for Japan, I never liked being alone and developed an unhealthy attachment to people. I did the most because I wanted to be around ‘friends’. If they went out, I would instantly obsess over being where they were out of the fear of missing out and wanting to be liked and accepted. I longed for community but had an unhealthy approach to achieving it. I’m sure I was pretty overbearing so everything eventually fell apart. I was left exhausted, bitter, and alone. In hindsight, I’m grateful for that period as I quickly realized that sitting alone in stillness with my thoughts helped me to reform my thoughts towards myself.
This led me to regain my confidence and trust in who I am. I was forced to prioritize myself which was pretty difficult at the beginning since I never did before.
I was able to dance, binge watch random series or YouTube videos, clean everyday or not at all. I grew to realize how much I needed time to refresh and recharge alone. Japan taught me that being alone is quite different from being lonely. It’s ok to struggle with self doubt, anxiety and other negative thoughts but it’s never ok to dwell. My solitude also led to my spiritual restoration and growth.
Community is important
Developing friendships in a new country is not for the faint of heart. You don’t just magically stumble upon people who automatically connect with you on a higher level. It’s not inevitable, it takes work and is especially harder for the shy and timid. If you fear putting yourself out there, this part might be particularly difficult, nevertheless, it is necessary if you hope to have a fulfilling time away from home. I first made close ‘acquaintances’ at the training center where I spent a few days. These acquaintances were my first road pals. Through them I met other people, who I later discovered, had more in common with me. Making friendships is about trial and error. Not everyone you have a meal with will be a part of your close friend group and vice versa. But once you do find your people, invest in those relationships. Take time to learn about them. Go to places with them, have sleepovers or potlucks and you’d be surprised how much your bond will grow. Friendships are not only for the ‘highs’ of life, they are also for the ‘lows’. Having someone who listens without judgement, is willing to sit with you in silent, or offer advice and tell you like it is. Those relationships are rare, take time to build and should be cherished. While in Japan I met lots of remarkable people, but my friends made my time there even more spectacular. Life is more worthwhile when you have the right people by your side.
Invest in experiences
Before moving abroad, I never took the time to go out on many excursions. I was always busy running the wheel, meeting deadlines, coaching teams, and running errands to take the time to bask in the beauty of my island home (I have yet to do that, since the PANDERONA hit). Life was not made to live in the monotony of the in same shades of grey. Instead life should be a joyous course through the rainbow that adorns our minds with each breath taking sashay across the world. If you are a self proclaimed homebody, you too should take time to go out (at least one a month) to do something you’re interested in or accept that invitation from those “overly friendly people”. Get out of the house. Take that cooking class, go dancing, go hiking or camping. Meet life at the train station/airport/taxi whichever transport will take you there. Saying yes to new experiences has helped me to learn more about myself than staying at home ever did.
Be open
This sorta ties in all factors since we need a bit of openness when approaching new tasks. Nevertheless this was one of the hardest tasks I had to learn. New encounters led to new experiences which gave way to new perspectives. Speaking with others introduces you to a vast knowledge from stimulating topics, world events as well as region/country specific issues. I learned how to listen and to ask probing questions in addition to not taking opposing views personally. We all experience life differently so don’t get caught up or caught off guard by the words that come outta others. It’s THEIR views and THEIR opinions no need to argue, just listen respond and move on. (I’ve met many people who rather argue than have a chill time). Like food, people vary just as much, even if they are from the same country. Similarly to our palettes, not everyone will be receptive to our taste in music, movies or views. However, appreciating this diversity helps to broaden our world scope with each encounter.
Living aboard will expand your palette oh so much. I am NOW more receptive to a myriad of tastes. Asides from allergenic food (ask about the ingredients), you should try authentic meals from whichever country you visit. Try their food at least once.
Your toxic traits will rear their ugly heads
While alone in my apartment, I usually sit and reflect on my day. I think on the conversations that I’ve had, my reactions, the reactions of others and ways I can improve if a similar situation should reoccur. I would do this exercise two to three times anything more than that would cause me to second guess my every move and not allow me to be in the moment. (I owe this to my time as a science teacher where we are always challenged to improve and tailor our lessons based on the needs of each child. That’s a lot of reflection and observation). Anyway these reflections made me realize that, I have some flawed thought processes and habits. I was also able to identify things that triggered me so I can avoid being explosive. Sometimes, we are the problem and acknowledging our role in an escalated situation can lead to a lot of healing for ourselves and others. Sometimes we have to face the fact that we are the villain in other people’s stories.
God will meet you wherever you are
I somehow never imagined that I would develop a deeper, richer more fulfilling relationship with God while living in a country where most of the population is not religious. They revere traditions, but a relationship with God is lost on them. In Japan, I learned how to rely on God and I met him time and time again in my apartment, on my walks to and from work, in the kind gestures of a sweet stranger and of course in the laughter and embrace of my church community. Though I grew up in the church and I’ve basically always been a christian, I eventually got caught up in the rituals of church and disregarded my need for an intimate relationship with Jesus. Being in a foreign land some how lead me back to praying, studying the bible and prioritizing seeking the voice of God. This journey was not without it’s pit falls, I still mess up daily but I still feel God’s embrace over my life. The noise of the familiar was silenced and I was finally able to be still and focus on God.
Living aboard can be quite daunting, but it’s entirely worth it. Stay safe and be always be aware of your environment. You’ll do great and have just as much fun.
Stay Blessed,
Daydri
This ia beautiful.. well done!
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