My sisters and I often have long conversations about ‘being the bigger person’. Its an exhausting job that makes you feel like a bit of a push over. Someone with no backbone, a LOSER. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch, but ALWAYS being the one who ‘seeks peace’, who is meek and longsuffering, can be exhausting. If it is being done in our own strength.
The usual complaint is that ‘they’ are the problem. ‘They’ tend to be doing all the things to cause an argument. ‘They’ are the difficult ones. ‘They’ never seek peace. They They They they. Isn’t this grounds to retaliate? Isn’t this reason enough to give them a taste of their own medicine? to avoid them? to fight fire with fire. Come on, They deserve it.
Indeed, ‘they’ do, but so do we. Contrary to our feelings, there is no good in us (Mark 10:18 “… Why callest me good? there is none good but one, that is, God”). We are also by nature sinful, impatient, petty, and self seeking (Psalm 51:5 “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me”). The only true difference is who we submit to, our self or Christ Jesus. Why is this key? Jesus gives us the strength to continuously be kind to those who are difficult, be patient to those who are angry, to give grace to those who are hurting.
But How can Jesus do this? How do you know he is working in and through you?
The ‘how’ might show up differently, but there are key things that keeps us in constant submission to God’s will and givens us the characteristics of Jesus. Which is saturating your mind with God’s words and staying in his presence. How do we do this?
- Read His word. Reading the bible is aligning yourself with direct words from God. What He said, how He wants you to act. Who He is. His word has the ability to wash you and transform you. Its supernatural. Over time, things that irritate you become less agitating. You find yourself feeling lead to pray for ‘them’, instead of complaining about ‘them’. You start to become compassionate, instead of resentful. Jesus had compassion on those who would have been seen as his enemies (Matthew 23:37 ” O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth he chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”). It amazes me how transformative the scriptures are. Give it a try.
- Pray for ‘them’. Praying for those who knowingly and unknowingly irritate us helps us see them as God does. They are still God’s children. And often times, in praying for them, God transforms us in the process. “But I’m not the problem, they are!” that is often the stance howbeit, a prideful one. This stance will ‘bring you low’ (Proverbs 29:23) and, God resists the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble (James 4:6). We are unable to control others but we can control our our reactions. Reacting with grace and humility will ultimately lead to “a soft answer that turneth away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1).
We are called to be Christ-like. To be the light of the world. We are subjected to Christ, while others might not be. So while we will be convicted by the Holy Ghost in us, especially if we react in a way that is not pleasing to God, ‘they’ might not be convicted. While we are being lead by the Holy Spirit, they are being lead by their own desires whether right or wrong. So when we get tired of being the bigger person, rely on Jesus’ strength to humbly walk in love.
Stay blessed,
Daydri